Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome been eating me up lately. Like, I’ll be in the middle of editing a video I poured my soul into thinking it’s not good enough. I’ll post something I know is powerful and then question myself two seconds later like, “Was that corny? Did I say too much? Who do I think I am?” It’s like this constant war between the woman I’m becoming and the girl I used to be. That girl who had dreams but didn’t always believe she was worthy of them. The one who learned to shrink herself to survive Now here I am trying to expand, trying to heal, trying to be seen and it’s triggering all the old wounds I thought I buried.

Truth is, I’ve been showing up scared. I’m building a platform, a brand, a purpose and half the time I feel like I don’t belong in the rooms I’m praying to be in. Not because I’m not qualified, but because trauma and self-doubt don’t just disappear when the blessings come.

They whisper.

They try to convince me that I’m not really that girl.

That people will find out I’m still figuring it out.

That I don’t deserve to lead, teach, inspire…

That I should sit down and stay quiet.

And I’ve had to check myself hard. Because God didn’t bring me through everything I’ve survived just for me to silence myself at the mic. Not after all the crying, all the losses, all the nights I begged for purpose. Not after the healing. Not after the vision He gave me. This ain’t fake. This is faith in action. This is me showing up, uncomfortable as hell, trusting that obedience is louder than insecurity. I used to think confidence meant being fearless. But now I know it’s showing up with fear sitting right next to you. Confidence is me pressing “upload” on that video, even when my hands shake. Confidence is speaking up on mental health, grief, and Black womanhood even when my voice breaks. Confidence is saying, “God, I don’t feel ready, but I trust You.” And maybe that’s the message: You don’t need to feel ready to be chosen. You just need to say yes.

So yeah, I’ve been struggling with imposter syndrome, But I refuse to let it stop me from becoming HER. Because this platform? This purpose? It’s bigger than my fear. It’s about the girls watching me grow in real time. The ones who need to see that becoming HER doesn’t mean being perfect—it means being real.

So if you’re doubting yourself today, if you feel like an imposter too

You’re not alone.

You’re just growing.

And baby, growing hurts.

But it also heals.

And one day, we’ll look back and realize…

We were never imposters.

We were just becoming.

— Becoming Herrss | Kayla Maryam ✨ 🌼