Being Nice Didn’t Hurt You. Your Lack of Boundaries Did

One thing I’ve been hearing a lot lately is people saying, “Being nice got me nowhere,” or “Being a loving person only got me hurt.” And listen, I get it. That kind of pain cuts deep. But let’s be real. Being nice isn’t what got you hurt. What got you hurt was your lack of boundaries.

If someone else’s actions are enough to change the kind of person you are, that’s a sign you need to pause and reflect. The truth is, you should be kind because you’re genuinely a kind person, not because you expect other people to return it. That’s not kindness. That’s people-pleasing. That’s expectation disguised as love.

Let’s not sugarcoat it. This world is full of messed up people. It’s full of users, liars, manipulators, and selfish energy. But that should never change who you are. Your heart, your softness, your goodness that’s yours to protect, not theirs to damage.

The reason “nice people” get walked over isn’t because they’re nice. It’s because they have no boundaries. You’re supposed to be a kind, loving person with discernment. With a backbone. With a divine “no” ready when needed. Boundaries help you decide who actually deserves access to your kindness. Not everybody does.

When you finally learn your worth, when you stop handing out softness like it’s free samples at a mall kiosk, when you protect your energy and only give what’s sacred to those who’ve earned it, God will start aligning you with people who see you, who value you, who pour back into you.

I’m still a nice person. But I’m only nice to the right people. I’m not out here performing holiness or kindness for people who don’t know how to love or respect me. I’m not matching energy. I’m protecting mine. And that’s the difference.

So no, you don’t have to turn cold. You just have to learn when to stop giving warm energy to cold-hearted people.

— Becoming Herrss | Kayla Maryam ✨ 🌼