What is Our Messy Middle?

Our messy middle is the sacred in-between. It’s the space after the breakdown but before the breakthrough. It’s where we are no longer who we used to be, but not yet fully sure who we’re becoming. And as Black women, that space can feel even heavier. We’ve been taught to survive everything to keep pushing, to stay silent, to carry burdens with grace. We’ve been praised for our strength, even when it was slowly killing us. We were told that being strong was the only way to be safe, to be loved, to be enough. But what happens when that strength becomes a mask? When we’re celebrated for enduring, but never asked if we’re okay?

The messy middle is where all of that begins to unravel. It’s where the mask slips. Where the truth starts to speak. Where we finally give ourselves permission to feel what we’ve spent years holding in. It’s crying without knowing why. It’s grieving things we never processed. It’s sitting in the discomfort of not having it all figured out and choosing to stay anyway. It’s no longer performing for survival, but slowly learning what it means to live. To be soft. To be real. To be seen.

This space isn’t glamorous. It’s not tidy. But it’s sacred. Because in the messy middle, we begin to put the backpack down the one filled with generational pain, silence, expectations, and exhaustion. We ask ourselves questions no one ever gave us room to ask: Who am I without the pressure? Who am I outside of the pain? Who am I becoming if I don’t have to survive everything anymore?

The messy middle is not a setback—it’s a reckoning. A remembering. It’s where we stop pretending and start becoming. You don’t have to be healed to be worthy. You don’t have to be perfect to be progressing. You are allowed to be messy and magnificent at the same time. You are allowed to grieve, to rest, to rebuild. This is the middle. This is where we rise.

Becoming Herrss | Kayla Maryam ✨ 🌼